Four minute read
A year ago, Poppy’s started offering free My Funeral Wishes consultations — an opportunity for you to talk about what you’d like for your funeral, to ask questions and record your wishes.
Dozens of conversations later, it’s clear that many people find that thinking ahead has emotional as well as practical benefits,
We spoke to Rosemary and Peter about why they approached Poppy’s and what the process was like for them.
Retired solicitor Rosemary believes in the importance of getting your affairs in order. With her will and her advance decision sorted out, she felt it was time to think about her funeral wishes.
“It was nice to get organised,” she says firmly. “It’s not fair to leave people wondering what to do. It didn’t faze me at all. I know it does some people, but talking about it made me feel less fearful.”
‘The last thing I want is gloomsville’
Peter is also someone who likes to think things through carefully. He first encountered Poppy’s at the funeral of the wife of a close friend and then decided to research further.
“I thought the funeral was extremely well done,” he says. “I got in touch with the husband and asked him about his experience — he was very positive.
“He had the full experience with Poppy’s and had met several of the Poppy’s team. Sometimes you meet someone in an organisation and take a shine to them, then meet the others and it’s disappointing, but he said that they all had good interpersonal skills.”
This was important to Peter, who wanted to find someone whom he could talk to easily about his funeral wishes, and someone whom he felt his children would feel comfortable with too.
“I associate a lot of funerals with grim-faced men and dark black cars,” he says. “It’s always a difficult time for the remaining spouse or family to arrange the funeral, but the last thing I want is gloomsville.”
‘They helped spark ideas’
Rosemary had also attended a Poppy’s funeral before coming to us to discuss her own funeral wishes. When her housemate died a few years ago, someone she knew recommended Poppy’s.
“I’m so glad she did that,” says Rosemary. “I rang Poppy’s and took it from there. They organised everything. I was very pleased with their hands on/hands off approach — they were there when needed but didn’t insist that you had this or that, they were flexible.
“More recently, I became ill and had to go into hospital for an operation. When I came out, I moved into the care home where I live now. When I arrived, the home wanted to know whether I had any funeral wishes or arrangements.
“I rang up Natalie at Poppy’s and we talked. I had a clear idea of what I wanted. She answered my questions and made me feel that I should have what I wanted.”
"The conversation was matter of fact, light-hearted rather than terribly solemn."
Peter’s funeral planning started with a conversation with the priest at the local church. “We don’t go to church often, but we do go from time to time,” says Peter. “So I contacted our local parson and he kindly came round.
“His view was, the more you can plan in advance, the easier it is for everyone when it happens. I realised that the next stage was deciding who I wanted the undertakers to be.
“Poppy’s seemed to me to be respectful and ‘can do’. They didn’t say, ‘We can’t do that’, or ‘It’s too difficult’, or ‘That’s not what other people do’. They helped spark ideas and said, ‘Yes, we can deal with it’.
“I do feel relieved now. I feel that when it happens, it will all be manageable. You can face it — if there are people who you can talk to about it.”
Telling friends and family about your wishes
We always encourage people to share their funeral wishes with the people who will be organising their funeral, so that they know what to do when the time comes.
“Communicating is so important, so that people are informed,” agrees Rosemary. “I have kept a copy of mine, and a good friend has one too, as I don’t have any close relatives, no brothers, sisters or dependents, and my cousins live far away.”
Peter discussed his plans with his wife and children: “I was able to get all the basics down on a piece of paper. I’ve talked about it with my elder daughter and a little with my younger daughter. It’s an ongoing conversation, but I’m very glad I’ve got as far as I have.”
If, like Rosemary and Peter, you’d like to have a conversation about your funeral wishes, have a look at our FAQs to find out more, or contact us to book an appointment.