Four minute read
More than half of UK households include at least one pet, not to mention service or support animals like guide dogs. Our pets and other animals are important to us in life — it’s hardly surprising that we hear so many questions about pets in relation to the end of life, death and funerals.
In this blog, we answer some of the most common questions, from ‘What will happen to my pet after I die?’ to ‘Can I bring my pet to a funeral?’
Can I bring a pet to a funeral?
Usually yes. You can bring a pet to a funeral if they are well behaved, and kept on a lead.
Talk to your funeral director and they can check this with the crematorium, church or other funeral venue in advance. Some crematoria will only allow the pet of the person who has died.
Although we’re most used to seeing dogs at funerals, other animals can be included too. We’ve even had someone bring their pet snake along!
It can be meaningful and comforting to include a family pet in the funeral ceremony. It not only provides a connection with the person who has died, but also helps friends and family to feel more relaxed on an occasion which can be stressful.
Service animals, such as guide dogs, are able to support their owners at funerals. Read Allen’s experience of having his guide dog by his side during his wife Margaret’s funeral.
Can the ashes of my pet be buried or cremated with me?
If you have the ashes of your pet, then these can usually be placed in your coffin with you, although this can depend on which cemetery or crematorium you use. However, the name of your pet cannot be included on the headstone or declared on any official paperwork.
If this is something that you want, make sure you talk to your friends and family about your wishes in advance. It’s also worth checking with a funeral director first. We are always happy to talk through the options and the practicalities.
Do animals grieve?
Even without hard research, there are countless anecdotes of pets who pine, go off their food, or behave differently when someone in their household dies.
The PDSA has helpful advice — listing signs to look out for, and ways to care for a pet whose owner has died.
Across the animal kingdom, there is evidence that animals can feel grief for other animals and create death rituals. Read more about whether animals hold funerals too in this blog.
What will happen to my pet when I die?
Many pet owners worry about what will happen if they die before their pets. To make sure that your pet is cared for after you die, it’s best to make a plan now and to discuss your thoughts with friends and family.
You can ask someone you know to look after your pet after you’ve died. You can include this in your will, although make sure the person you have in mind agrees before you do so.
Pets are legally classed as possessions. This means that you can leave your pet to someone in your will, but you cannot leave money or assets directly to your pet for their ongoing care.
If you name a specific pet in your will, you’ll need to remember to update the document if you get a new pet or if your wishes change. We’re not experts in this area, so if this is important to you, make sure you get legal advice!
If you don’t know anyone able or willing to look after your pet, animal charities offer free services, where you can register your pets to be looked after and rehomed by them. The Blue Cross and the RSPCA both run schemes like these. Again, make sure you let friends or family know about your decisions.
My pet’s died, and I’m grieving.
It’s very common and perfectly normal to feel grief and loss when a much-loved pet or companion animal dies.
Animal charities provide a range of services from one-to-one support to Facebook groups to help you talk through how you are feeling. All of these services are free.
The Blue Cross has a helpline and plenty of online resources and stories, as does Cats Protection. For horse owners, the British Horse Society offers personal, confidential support to help you make end of life decisions for your horse and to deal with the grief you might experience.
Greater London Pet Crematorium is based in Streatham cemetery, just round the corner from Poppy’s. Their Facebook page has advice and information for people whose pets have died.
How can I help my children after the death of a pet?
It can be very helpful to mark the death of a pet in a special way. In families with young children, this can be a good opportunity to gently introduce the topic of death and to help children to express their feelings and fears.
A quick chat in the Poppy’s office revealed that several of us have experience — as children or as parents — of saying goodbye at home to our loved family pets.
Sarah’s children drew pictures to bury with their pet rabbit in the garden, then everyone in the family said something before helping to scatter wildflower seeds. Amy remembers as a child making little coffins out of toilet rolls when her hamsters died. Sometimes they would invite a neighbour round, say some words and then share some cake.
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Find more ideas and guidance on our blog, including how to choose a funeral director and how to personalise a funeral.
