Two minute read
After Lydia’s son died, she and her husband started tending a small garden on his grave in East Sheen Cemetery.
Seven years on — battling squirrels, slugs and plants that failed to thrive — they have a flourishing plot. Lydia shares her experience and her tips.
“When our son died, we hadn’t discussed whether we wanted a cremation or a burial — we just knew we needed to have a place to be able to go,” says Lydia.
“We’re lucky to able to walk from our home to the cemetery. We put a thick layer of compost down to start with because the soil was clay, and for neatness we edged the plot with a wooden frame. Then we started planting on the grave straight away.
“We’ve always had a garden at home, but I’m by no means an expert! We’ve only really had time to garden properly since our son died.”
Finding plants that thrived
After a few years of trial and error, discovering which plants thrived best, Lydia popped into the cemetery office to see whether they had any advice. They came away with a leaflet — ‘Rabbit resistant plants’.
“We didn’t really know where to start,” continues Lydia. “But we have found that lavender, begonia, rose and pansies work well. We put in crocus and daffodil bulbs each autumn, doing what we can to protect them from the squirrels, and they usually do fine in the spring. We have a couple of shrubs which have done well.
“Polyanthus are good, but at first we were disappointed — the squirrels enjoyed them! But after a while they have all thrived. The main pests are squirrels, rabbits and birds and, of course, slugs.
“Inevitably the plot looks drab in the winter. But we’ve found that hellebores do all right and give a bit of colour then.
“We visit most days. I tend to do the same route around the cemetery, and I notice what’s changed — something new added to a plot or a lovely yellow rose bush coming into flower. Lots of graves which aren’t regularly tended regularly, if at all, have lovely roses which come out each year.
"I feel the garden on our son’s plot is there for other people to enjoy too. One of the nice things about tending the plot is that we get to know people tending nearby graves.”
Graveside gardening tips
So, what are Lydia’s words of advice for anyone wanting to tend a graveside garden?
“If you can visit regularly, then plant either annuals or perennials for a summer show. If you can't visit much, then shrubs will be the best, especially roses. Keep adding fresh compost to give the plants the best chance of thriving.
“Remember that in summer the grave garden will need watering regularly and watering cans are always hard to find in the cemetery. If we’re in the car then we bring our own. If you go away, then try and find someone who will water for you.
“Like any garden, you’ve got to tend it, you’ve got to be there.
“The key is patience — you think a plant is never going to bloom, but you wait, and six months later a flower appears.”
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